25 years ago I found myself across the desk from my boss expecting our usual weekly chat about how things were going around the print shop I worked in.
The first words out of his mouth were not at all what I had expected…
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
His delivery might have been out of line, but it also may have been genius because I instantly knew exactly how my performance of late was substandard.
It was like that moment at the end of a mystery movie where the detective sees all the pieces aligning and knows exactly how the crime was accomplished.
He literally could have said nothing else and I would have understood the problem and solved it.
Before you get the wrong idea, I’m not suggesting that these are magical words you should try in your next 1-1.
What I am offering is that having a challenging conversation with someone who isn’t performing well is an important part of their development.
Yes, choose your words to match your audience, but don’t soften the message into oblivion.
And don’t expect them to have a moment of transcendent understanding like I did. That moment was an outlier, to be sure.
Be specific about your concerns. Reinforce that you want to help them win. Have a plan for how they can solve the issues at hand, but remain open to a collaborative exchange that includes their ideas about how to move forward.
Avoiding these conversations – or not really saying what needs to be said – isn’t helping anyone, least of all you.
TRY THIS: Consider each member of your team and identify ONE message you should deliver, but have been avoiding. Make it your mission to deliver that message this week. It doesn’t matter if it’s a big issue or a small one, the exercise is about overcoming discomfort in service of your people, your team, and yourself.
My free PDF, “The 5 Secrets of Impossibly Effective Teams,” will show you the simple leadership moves that help teams unlock their full potential and deliver outsized results, without burning out. Grab your copy now at geoffwelch.com/secrets