My wife’s family is absolutely nuts.

But to be fair, so is my family. (Sorry mom)

And to be fairer still, in ways that I can’t quite put my finger on, my household is nuts too. 

Here’s why:

Most people inherit traditions and preferences about things from their families. Which is great.

But problems arise when we start interacting (or marrying) people who grew up with different traditions and different preferences.

It’s a problem because, for many, these traditions and preferences weren’t presented as a favored way of doing things.

They were presented as this-is-how-things-are-supposed-to-work. 

So when I grew up doing this, and someone else prefers that, we don’t always say, “verrrrrrrry interesting.” 

Sometimes we say, “I’m right and you’re wrong.”

At work, your team is made up from people of a variety of backgrounds, traditions, and preferences and it’s a mistake to assume that your shared standards will be obvious and understood by everyone without intentional explanation.

So be clear about those shared standards actually are. 

Take some time to define them for yourself so you can share them with others.

Talk about them when they are embraced. Talk about them when they aren’t. 

Be specific about the things you expect from everyone. And apply them to everyone.

Assuming everyone gets it is a great way to create interpersonal friction. 

TRY THIS: What is a shared standard that seems obvious to you, but isn’t always honored by everyone? Maybe some folks don’t understand why it’s a shared standard…or that it even is a shared standard. Bring it up in a meeting to talk about why it matters. If it’s not important enough to define and explain, it might not be important enough to be a shared standard.

My free PDF, “The 5 Secrets of Impossibly Effective Teams,” will show you the simple leadership moves that help teams unlock their full potential and deliver outsized results, without burning out. Grab your copy now at geoffwelch.com/secrets