It’s fascinating to me that most of us think we are unique and that our problems are special, but we’re all wrestling with the same handful of issues.
Coaching leaders for nearly a decade has really driven home that the names and places change, but the challenges are mostly the same.
One of the issues that has vexed almost every client I’ve worked with is a tendency to avoid uncomfortable conversations.
They have invented a hundred or so really good reasons why this conversation is going to be a problem, but deep down they know it has to happen. Tomorrow. Or maybe the next day. Next week might work best…
If you can relate, you’re absolutely not alone. Many of my client conversations center on helping them have a conversation they’d rather not have.
The antidote to being stuck is often on the other side of a conversation you don’t want to have, so here are three ways to prepare for that conversation so you can get moving again.
Clarify the outcome
If you don’t have complete clarity about what you are trying to accomplish with this conversation, it’s going to feel far more difficult than necessary. Spend a few minutes defining what you want to change. Remember: a conversation is not something to be won. If that’s the goal, you might need to reconsider your motives.
Challenge your assumptions
Some of you are convinced the conversation is a waste of time because you already know how they will react. If you are CERTAIN of this, based on piles of evidence, you have a completely different kind of problem. BUT, if there is the slightest chance that you are allowing assumptions to influence your assessment, it’s time to examine what you believe. Try asking yourself, “how might they see this issue differently than I do?” Or, “how might I be contributing to the friction that exists?” Or, “how would I approach this conversation if I truly cared about them?”
Script the opening
You might feel the need to rehearse the conversation multiple times before you actually have it. Doing so can be a great way to clarify the points you want to make, but the conversation will never go the way you think it will. Instead of trying to script every aspect of the conversation, just script the opening. Come up with a 1 or 2 sentence opener that sets that stage for an authentic, organic exchange. Getting started is always the most difficult part.
OPPORTUNITY FOR ACTION: Is there a conversation you need to have in order to get unstuck? Find 30 minutes to clarify the outcome, challenge your assumptions, and script the opening…and get that conversation on the calendar.
My free PDF, “100 Questions for Better 1-1 Meetings,” will help you upgrade the 1-1 conversations with your people so you can easily unearth their hidden potential and uncover valuable insights about your organization. Grab it today!